Panic, confusion, unknown

I have had my visa done today, collecting on Sat. Flying on 16 Feb.

I am experiencing a constant feeling of confusion recently. I have never had this kind of thinking ever before, my life was always planned, organised logically. a normal way of living as how everyone lives. Go to high school, graduate with A, enter college, find a boyfriend, dating, studying, graduate again, work, getting married then family life. Whenever I think of that my lip keeps on shivering as I can’t imagine how boring it could be. I am not someone who seeks excitement always in life. But I dislike stagnant lifestyle; I wish to learn, to explore, to travel to new places, to meet new friends, to expose to new cultures.
However, whenever I looked at my colleagues who are working and working and working non-stop with no complaints yet still get scolded, I was telling myself this is not what I want? Am I going go work for someone for my entire life like how my friends do?
My ambition was clear, however, after working for this long; I start to have doubts of what I am doing.
I gonna clear my mind first before I can write anything out today. Chaotic.

人生的意义

My China client sent me this post, i found it interesting. Maybe I should just share it.


不管你是否准备好，有一天一切都会结束。
不再有旭日东升，不再有灿烂白昼，不再有一分一秒的光阴。
你收藏的一切，不论是弥足珍贵的还是已经忘记的，都将留给别人。
你的财富、名望和世俗的权利都将变成细枝末节的事情，不管你拥有的还是亏欠的，都不再重要。
你的嫉恨、冤仇、挫败和妒忌之心终将消失。
同样，你的希望、雄心、计划和未竟之事都将终止。
曾经无比重要的成败得失也将褪色。 你来自哪里，用什么方式生活都不重要了。
你是貌美如花还是才华横溢也不重要了。
你的性别、肤色、种族都无关紧要了。
那么什么变得重要了呢？
你有生之日的价值怎么来衡量呢？

重要的不是你所买到的，而是你所创造的。
重要的不是你所得到的，而是你所付出的。
重要的不是你的成功，而是你的价值。
重要的不是你学到的，而是你传授的。
重要的是你的每一次正直、怜悯、勇敢和牺牲之行为能够使人充实，让人强大或是能够激励他人

1st post of 2009

I am really not someone who can keep writing blog. Maybe I am just not comfortable to reveal my inner thoughts. It has been almost 2.5 months since my last post, many many things happened for this short period of time. Thanks to all who accompanied me these days, thks to my frens who lent me ears to vent.
People who are close to me knowing well what kind of life style I am having, tiring, exhausting designer's life. 16 hours' work at day, 3-4 hours' sleep at night. Though it's tiring, I found myself enjoying it.

A russian song that touched my heart. Позови меня тихо по имени

I always like world music, like Spanish, Russian, Scottish music etc. I happened to listen to this song while I am browsing through the web today.
the song is called Позови меня тихо по имени ( Call Me Quietly by Name. )

My TW friend is here!

Emily reached Singapore on Thurs! I met this TaiWan born girl online, while chatting about Takarazuka issues. Emily went to the States for her master degree and then worked in LA as a motion graphic designer. But due to certain personal reasons she plans to come back to Asia for work, that's why she contacted me and asked about wokring conditions here and as well she contacted a few design companies in Singapore. I have every seen her work, it's rather impressive to me. With my aesthetic point of view she is very sensitive to colours and patterns, a very talented young designer. I guess her work is much appriated by Singapore emloyers so 2 interviews were arranged for her.

I picked her up from terminal 3 yesterday and send her over to a hotel along Dickson Rd, then brought her out for dinner. My sense of direction has always been good and it's rare for me to lost ways. Yet, it's rather embarrassed that I lead a wrong way to bugis! Anyway, I don't wanna describe it in details just let you know that dinner we had is not that fantastic and ir's far behind my expections.

This morning I went to my new company for project interview as my boss is flying over China for presentation. I ought to have an overall view and idea of how the project goes. I got a CD from Arabella, my new coleague and a set of drawings. My good days of freedom have gone! = =

Too tired to continue, will have more updates tmr or Sunday

New Job!

Yeah~~~ I found a new job within 2 weeks! Thank God! ^ ^
As designer in an interior firm. Good start ha if I wanna train in design skills. start work next Monday!
But I was given chance to choose 2 positions ( actually 3), project designer or styling designer. Gonna think over it.

Will let you guys know once I decided!

My trip~~~

It was a great experience traveling around. It is late now, 3 34am , so I simply post a few pics. Getting tired...

All the photos here were taken at St petersburg

The summer palace of St peter
The Cathedral of the Spilled Blood

It is nice to see the world, then you would realise how tiny we are as compare to the universe. I like the feeling of carrying my backpack walking around, perspiring , feeling exhausted. It's hard for some people to understand that why not just go tours. It's not only the financial issue, though it's an important issue; the key thing is by backpack, you will be having a wider exposure to local culture, to the native people. Instead of spending a night at hotel, whichI think hotels over the world are pretty much the same; living in a local style inn would have more fun.
Where will be my next stop? Australia? That sounds cool. I gonna spend a few years over there, guess I will have plenty of time to explore the beauty of Aussie!
So lionel, Ivo, Vir, Jace, of course Jason&Sally, do not surprise that I suddenly pop out to bet for a place to stay! LOL
shall go to bed now. Ciao!

Last friends (opening)

About 2 months ago alot of my friends are watching this Fuji Tv drama call Last friends. I knew this show through Utada Hikaru's new song, prisoner of love. It is the theme song of this show. After then I didn't really follow the show although my friends are discussign this show on their blogs.
Today just happened that I saw this clip online, thinking of how special the show is in which can be so addictive to so many people.
This is the opening portion of the show:

What a beauty shall be.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. 若要优美的嘴唇，要说友善的话；

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. 若要可爱的眼睛，要看到别人的好处；

For a slim figure, share your foodwith the hungry. 若要苗条的身材，把你的食物分给饥饿的人；

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
美丽的秀发，在于每天有孩子的手指穿过它；

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
若要优雅的姿态，要记住行人不只你一个。

People, even more than things, have to be restored, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone. 人之所以为人，是应该充满精力、能够自我悔改、自我反省、自我成长，而不是抱怨他人。

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find them at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. 如果你需要一只援助之手，你可以在自己的任何一只手臂下找到；随着年龄的增长，你会发现你有两只手，一只用来帮助自己，另一只用来帮助别人。