Do I really care?

There are just something that you care so much so you cant feel you care anymore.

So, If I say I dun care, it might be I care too much, or I really dun care. See how you interpret!

I do get jealous at times, but I always act in a way to make people jealous. *evil me.... kind of extreme reaction. bad bad bad.......

EYah..emotion stuff

coming to the end of semester soon. As usual, i feel nothing, or rather there are too many things I should lay my emotion at which makes me refuse to have feelings for any. Or maybe I am just a bastard who has no feelings. LOL...* laugh at oneself....

I think I laugh too much even the saddest thing in life can be a joke to me. I do have feelings or emotions towards things that are irrelevant to me. I show sympathies towards the poor family I visited during my back pack trip in China, I cried for victims of varies disasters; I care and concern 3rd world country people who are struggling in life. But, I just find difficulties in expressing emotions towards issues that relate to myself.

Someone once told me this: you have very deep threshold. You have one of the most complicated personalities that I ever seen.
LOL... yeah, life experiences and alot of things happened in life have forced me to grow up. I have learnt to protect myself by locking up emotions. I don't talk about it, because I don't think about it. Some stuffs are just nice to keep them frozen otherwise soon they will turn rotten and eventaully corrode the healthy flesh.

I am happy to be who I am. (present tense)
I wanna forget who I was.
I don't think about who I will be.

Muscle aching

Apparently I lack of regular exercise. Cooked Laksa for dinner last night, because of the over intake of calories I decided to warm up and burn my fats away... Well, if 20 sit ups counts. LOL. Plus 30 sec of warrior pose 1?!

Was checking out the limited edition PADI license, it gonna cost me 60 Aussie, fuck it la hah. When shall I take my advance dive cert?

I am tired

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant feel my body! or rather i feel it in a negative way?! I am not afraid of physical tiredness, so... still manageable.

- keep passion going!

* and keep on reminding myself of forgetting things that need to be forgotten; remember things that make me happy; forbid curiosity from running wild!

irony

Had a rough count of how many blogs I ever had... to my amazement I had 6 blogssss in total! Come on la I am not someone who willing to expose my inner thoughts, or rather whatever thoughts I have. I just find difficult to share. Well, as a typical gemini i am talkative.... Extremely talkative when i am drunk especially. But if anyone pay a close attention on the content I was talking about, to his surprise I can simply bullshit all night long, without any nutricious content! LOL... it's kind of a gift too ok?!
well....

me busy....busy busy busy.. cos wasted too much time on my puppy.... LOL....

Words to friends- who changed my life

Hi dear friends, thks for all your warm wishes and concern! I am fine here, school is busy but trying my very best to cope. Haven't boomed up 100% of my energy yet, so adapting, enjoying and exploring is what I am doing now. How are you guys my dear friends?!!

Lionel: Thks for writing on my wall, very sweet of you. I am glad that you are planning a trip to Europe during break, I guess it gonna be a wonderful experience!! We shall plan a trip together someday, maybe meet at Tasmania first to find the rest! LOL

LH: Sorry I just saw your message here in my blog.. ^ ^ Ya I am fine, how about you? Still busy with school? I really envy you could go to so many countries for exchange, I reckon you have learnt alot, definitely more than what we can learn from school.. Stay happy always and I shall expect your visit one day am I right?!!!

Ivo: Girl!!! Didint really get to chat with you in MSN, the connection is so slow at home. So everytime was a kind of rush... I enjoyed so much time spent with you before I came to Aussie. Crazy shopping times together last time and good food session!!! Ha, I am mesmerised with all sorts of things we did tofether. ^ ^ miss ya

Jace: Hey girl you went back to Aussie so early didnt really get a chance to catch up with you. Just wanna let you know that you are someone I always care about! Be positive always and have faith in yourself! You are such a wonderful girl! ^*

Zak: Horny Queen!!!! hahaha....How is "married" life?! LOL.. aya you two are such a loving couple I wish you happy forever!! Thks for being so sweet and thoughtful all the time. The surprise bday gift last yr really touched me.. I miss your Mom's brownie!!!! LOL... and of course, miss you too!!

Vir: Was looking through Pics taken at your house last time ,the BBQ session. Time really flies and It has been a such a long time. You didn't change much, still as pretty!!! ( and fair) hahahaha
then stay pretty ok!? And enjoy yourself each day!

Jack: How come no news from you huh?! so far so good?!

RuiFen: Our lovely sister! Who always tk care of us, the most caring and thoughtful one in our gang... LOL.. Thks for taking care each one of us, BIG HUGSSS for you! ^ ^

Mark: Naughty one during school time, mature guy by now. I was astonished by your change, Mark. ( Ivo too right?!) LOL Thks for joining us to the crazy party before I left. ^ ^continue to stay healthy ok!? less drinking, less smoking etc etc... so just Take care!

Jenson: Arr, hey brother, though I didn't know you for very long time, but we click well right?! LOL.. THANKS for mailing me the precious DVD. Did Ivo tell you that you just saved my life?! hahaha... Sure will visit you one day and probably cook sth nice for you! haha

Kim: Girl, you are always so quiet... (I know you can be lame too LOL) Dun over stressed by work ( I know you wont) and go out more la. Since alot of us are not around, do keep our gang going. haha

Still have soneone to write but I run out of time, catch with ya guys again!

Misss you all! Love

some casual shoots