Panic, confusion, unknown

I have had my visa done today, collecting on Sat. Flying on 16 Feb.

I am experiencing a constant feeling of confusion recently. I have never had this kind of thinking ever before, my life was always planned, organised logically. a normal way of living as how everyone lives. Go to high school, graduate with A, enter college, find a boyfriend, dating, studying, graduate again, work, getting married then family life. Whenever I think of that my lip keeps on shivering as I can’t imagine how boring it could be. I am not someone who seeks excitement always in life. But I dislike stagnant lifestyle; I wish to learn, to explore, to travel to new places, to meet new friends, to expose to new cultures.
However, whenever I looked at my colleagues who are working and working and working non-stop with no complaints yet still get scolded, I was telling myself this is not what I want? Am I going go work for someone for my entire life like how my friends do?
My ambition was clear, however, after working for this long; I start to have doubts of what I am doing.
I gonna clear my mind first before I can write anything out today. Chaotic.